Swingers tend to like certain playmates or swinging couples because they feel comfortable with them. There is nothing wrong with that; a lot of swingers maintain contact with one or two playmates so that they can reach them whenever they want to play. However, as humans’ emotions have tendency to develop towards someone with good traits, there are also circumstances when emotions — the smallest amount of it at first — starts to be a factor and one of the reasons you want to see certain playmates again is because you are emotionally attracted to them. The same thing may happen to your spouse; he or she may feel a glimpse of emotion towards playmates.

What happens if one of you wants to see someone again? The best thing to do in this situation is to stay honest. Sit down and talk about the issue openly, get it out of your chest, and find new playmates you are comfortable with to change the settings. Explain to your spouse how you are concerned about the possibility of having emotions involved if you see the same playmate all the time; your spouse will understand what you are saying and will respect your honesty. It is a gesture to show that you love your partner too much and you don’t want the feeling to be spoiled by the particular emotion towards playmates. You will be stopping further catastrophe before it is too late. If your spouse asks for a temporary break from swinging, agree to it and use the time to strengthen your relationship.